Blemish

by autumn

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1.
03:51
2.
03:47
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02:11
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about

This album is the absolute soul of us all.
It is a homage to being empty and bitter and lost.
It is a series of memoirs from a broken soul, and an insight to being sheltered and driven mad by focus.

This is Blemish, and we are autumn. Thanks for all of your support, and we hope you find some kind of connection in these pieces.

credits

released May 14, 2016

Tracked by Calum Johnstone
Drums tracked at Red Sun Studios, Fyshwick
Guitars/Bass tracked at Sam's Place
Vocals tracked at Chris's Place

Mixed and mastered by Lachy Pitcher at Depict Studios

Album Artwork by Anthony at Delta Options

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license

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about

autumn Canberra, Australia

5 piece emotionally driven hardcore from Canberra, Australia.

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Track Name: Ghost
Cleanse my veins of this dirt
A life lead in solitude
An existence spent unheard

Can you understand me?
Fear pulsing through every breath I take
Every word I say; like I never learnt to speak.

Chaos in my thoughts
I feel the same

This dreary winter animus
Will never end

This dreary winter animus
Will never end

Unrelenting questions
The mist drags me under
With every idea I conjure
Snatched away before my very eyes

There's a thief
In my mind
And they elude me

They elude me

I glance back at a memory
Where I hadn't lost the means to think
A vision of the past
That plagues me in my sleep

And the dirt is all I taste
I know I did this to myself
And forever I will live in disappointment
For putting myself in this hell

My own hell

But I still stand with an open embrace
The flame licks at my face
And I feel the heat melt away at my skin
And I stand unshaken

The bond between my mind and its experience
Grows strong from my sense of self entitlement
And I remember, every day, if sanctum is what I seek
My words are the only key

Sentience
I long for more
Awoken
These wounds will bleed no longer
Sentience
Engulf me in emotion
Awoken

I grasp on to every
part of life that keeps me human
My leash is growing longer
I yearn to be free
From the smog
That covers my judgement
Break me from these shackles

I ask for my veins to be cleansed
but this dirt isn't all I breathe
In all of this confusion
I have come to the realisation
All I seek is the will to clearly think.
Track Name: Blemish
Dark shadows on my wall
Whisper translucent tales in my head
My insecurities hold their power over me
Steady, like in amongst the wind,
The trees hold their weight.

The shadows are looming closer
My scarce the breath, the only thing,
that reminds me I'm still alive,
And I dream about you,
When I remember to,
but most of my dreams
trap me in deep trepidations

Times glides by, and I glaze over it
I feel like I'm achieving, but I have nothing to show for it
I am less of a man than I thought I would ever become
Dishevelled and slovenly, I get why you all stare through me

And the world is my enemy,
My mind runs ahead of my mouth
Please fucking take care of me,
And now my luck is heading south
My prospects taken for eternity,
Please dear don't you fucking pout
And the world is my enemy
My mind runs ahead of my mouth

The shadows are looming closer
My scarce the breath, the only thing,
that reminds me I'm still alive,
And I dream about you,
When I remember to,
but most of my dreams
trap me in deep trepidations

Let my eyes close in parallel to the rest of my senses.

Rivers flood in my name
A pawn in heaven's game,
I traipse through storms,
just to ascend at the ocean's depths

My stature blemished by sin,
Hold steady
But mark my words
I am no victim.

Dark shadows on my wall
Whisper translucent tales in my head
My insecurities hold their power over me
Steady, like in amongst the wind,
The trees hold their weight.

The shadows are looming closer
My scarce the breath, the only thing,
that reminds me I'm still alive,
And I dream about you,
When I remember to,
but most of my dreams
trap me in deep trepidations
Track Name: In Perplection
Take me back
To a time where I can think clearly
My thoughts have been scrambled
By erosion

And now by the word of my own
I will become stronger.

Days pass,
So many fucking days pass
And I still can't get a grip on my mind

Am I miserable?
Or is this just circumstantial?
I wish I knew

My time is fucking spent on the notion
That I don't mean a thing
And what a lonely world it is
When you find your best friend
Is in your own head

I struggle to come to terms with the fact
That this is all there is
I am stuck in a moment of overplayed bliss.

I look down from the horizon
And I see myself drowning in fear,
I know I'm not the only one
Trapped in this sphere of agony

I'm feeling more alone than I have in years.

Swallowed up by this world
My soul, fragile as they come,
Like a fucking mirror
Reflecting nothing but the bad I have done.

My mind contorts, wrapped up in stagnant waste
I have no hope in my world
I leave this casket
Filled with my thoughts
And it begins to contort again.
Track Name: Vices
I was born into a life of regret,
Take my vices, and help me
Make sense of them

And as I rest upon my weary head
the only vision, I see, is me dead.

So rest your weary head,
it can hurt for so long
I promise you I'll go away,
because I know you don't want me to stay.

I'm sorry for putting you through everything I did,
Please forgive me,
Please forgive me.
Track Name: A Newfound Comfort (In Complacency)
Dress me up in desire, The only mask I have ever worn
I haven't grown into my skin, and my tolerance is torn

Attracted by what I possess, it's all fucking meaningless
The stars don't align for us like they used to.

You've caught me red handed
I know I haven't been abandoned but
I also know how it feels
How it feels

There is no greener grass,
the other side is as rocky as ours
Devoid of any intellect,
as dismal as ever.

And I remain coerced by whatever has reign
Over my actions
And I know you can't forgive me,
I can't expect you to
My and your interaction,
Covered by this blanket of remorse
You can't let go and neither can I

Please let me hold your hand like you used to.
I'm not the monster that you fear me to be.

Please let me hold your hand like you used to.
I'm not the monster that takes over me.
I know I'm not.

And I'm sorry
My lack of motivation
stems from my lust for isolation
I don't mean it
I don't fucking mean it.

And I'm sorry
The only thing I have left to give is monotony
It's the only thing you ever see from me,
Any more

The tensions rise as we grow wearier and wearier.
I know I'm not who you fell in love with.

Thank you for trying,
And I'm sorry
I've just lost hope in myself.

So thank you for trying,
And I'm sorry
I've just lost hope for myself.

You crying on my bed
Is forever embedded in my head.
A searing ache has been forged,
To never let me forget my mistakes.