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BLEMISH

by AUTUMN

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1.
GHOST 03:51
Cleanse my veins of this dirt A life lead in solitude An existence spent unheard Can you understand me? Fear pulsing through every breath I take Every word I say; like I never learnt to speak. Chaos in my thoughts I feel the same This dreary winter animus Will never end This dreary winter animus Will never end Unrelenting questions The mist drags me under With every idea I conjure Snatched away before my very eyes There's a thief In my mind And they elude me They elude me I glance back at a memory Where I hadn't lost the means to think A vision of the past That plagues me in my sleep And the dirt is all I taste I know I did this to myself And forever I will live in disappointment For putting myself in this hell My own hell But I still stand with an open embrace The flame licks at my face And I feel the heat melt away at my skin And I stand unshaken The bond between my mind and its experience Grows strong from my sense of self entitlement And I remember, every day, if sanctum is what I seek My words are the only key Sentience I long for more Awoken These wounds will bleed no longer Sentience Engulf me in emotion Awoken I grasp on to every part of life that keeps me human My leash is growing longer I yearn to be free From the smog That covers my judgement Break me from these shackles I ask for my veins to be cleansed but this dirt isn't all I breathe In all of this confusion I have come to the realisation All I seek is the will to clearly think.
2.
BLEMISH 03:47
Dark shadows on my wall Whisper translucent tales in my head My insecurities hold their power over me Steady, like in amongst the wind, The trees hold their weight. The shadows are looming closer My scarce the breath, the only thing, that reminds me I'm still alive, And I dream about you, When I remember to, but most of my dreams trap me in deep trepidations Times glides by, and I glaze over it I feel like I'm achieving, but I have nothing to show for it I am less of a man than I thought I would ever become Dishevelled and slovenly, I get why you all stare through me And the world is my enemy, My mind runs ahead of my mouth Please fucking take care of me, And now my luck is heading south My prospects taken for eternity, Please dear don't you fucking pout And the world is my enemy My mind runs ahead of my mouth The shadows are looming closer My scarce the breath, the only thing, that reminds me I'm still alive, And I dream about you, When I remember to, but most of my dreams trap me in deep trepidations Let my eyes close in parallel to the rest of my senses. Rivers flood in my name A pawn in heaven's game, I traipse through storms, just to ascend at the ocean's depths My stature blemished by sin, Hold steady But mark my words I am no victim. Dark shadows on my wall Whisper translucent tales in my head My insecurities hold their power over me Steady, like in amongst the wind, The trees hold their weight. The shadows are looming closer My scarce the breath, the only thing, that reminds me I'm still alive, And I dream about you, When I remember to, but most of my dreams trap me in deep trepidations
3.
Take me back To a time where I can think clearly My thoughts have been scrambled By erosion And now by the word of my own I will become stronger. Days pass, So many fucking days pass And I still can't get a grip on my mind Am I miserable? Or is this just circumstantial? I wish I knew My time is fucking spent on the notion That I don't mean a thing And what a lonely world it is When you find your best friend Is in your own head I struggle to come to terms with the fact That this is all there is I am stuck in a moment of overplayed bliss. I look down from the horizon And I see myself drowning in fear, I know I'm not the only one Trapped in this sphere of agony I'm feeling more alone than I have in years. Swallowed up by this world My soul, fragile as they come, Like a fucking mirror Reflecting nothing but the bad I have done. My mind contorts, wrapped up in stagnant waste I have no hope in my world I leave this casket Filled with my thoughts And it begins to contort again.
4.
VICES 02:11
I was born into a life of regret, Take my vices, and help me Make sense of them And as I rest upon my weary head the only vision, I see, is me dead. So rest your weary head, it can hurt for so long I promise you I'll go away, because I know you don't want me to stay. I'm sorry for putting you through everything I did, Please forgive me, Please forgive me.
5.
Dress me up in desire, The only mask I have ever worn I haven't grown into my skin, and my tolerance is torn Attracted by what I possess, it's all fucking meaningless The stars don't align for us like they used to. You've caught me red handed I know I haven't been abandoned but I also know how it feels How it feels There is no greener grass, the other side is as rocky as ours Devoid of any intellect, as dismal as ever. And I remain coerced by whatever has reign Over my actions And I know you can't forgive me, I can't expect you to My and your interaction, Covered by this blanket of remorse You can't let go and neither can I Please let me hold your hand like you used to. I'm not the monster that you fear me to be. Please let me hold your hand like you used to. I'm not the monster that takes over me. I know I'm not. And I'm sorry My lack of motivation stems from my lust for isolation I don't mean it I don't fucking mean it. And I'm sorry The only thing I have left to give is monotony It's the only thing you ever see from me, Any more The tensions rise as we grow wearier and wearier. I know I'm not who you fell in love with. Thank you for trying, And I'm sorry I've just lost hope in myself. So thank you for trying, And I'm sorry I've just lost hope for myself. You crying on my bed Is forever embedded in my head. A searing ache has been forged, To never let me forget my mistakes.

about

This is Blemish, and we are AUTUMN. Thanks for all of your support, and we hope you find some kind of connection in these pieces.

credits

released May 14, 2016

Tracked by Calum Johnstone
Drums tracked at Red Sun Studios, Fyshwick
Guitars/Bass tracked at Sam's Place
Vocals tracked at Chris's Place

Mixed and mastered by Lachy Pitcher at Depict Studios

Album Artwork by Anthony at Delta Options

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AUTUMN Canberra, Australia

2014 - 2019

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